Fishing funnys"

Having a Bit more time on my hands due to the monsoon season and not being able to get out on the bank which is typical when we have some festive time off" I Thought I would share a few funny moments I still have vivid memories of.

Dating back to my Early days when I was with Weston A.A and a youthful 18yrs old myself and Darren (Bigbird) greenwood travelled together regular to matches and this Sunday was know different and a trip down to Oak Tree Fishery in South Molton was on the cards and the forcast was for a corker of a Day weather wise, After the draw Darren had drawn at the bottom end of the lake which was going to be direct in the sun for the entire match & I had draw just around the side in full view of him in what was to be a more shaded area later in the day, Setting up in the now baking sun he was soon to remove his black joggers to reveal a bright red pair of shorts and a lilly white pair off legs" Now in his younger days he some what resembled all I can describe as Peter Crouch as far as the legs went!

He shouted over if I was to have any high factor suntan lotion to which happily replied I could be of assistance, What he didn't know that being I was a prize Adois myself I had the tan to match so used bronzing oil so I swiftly removed the label and walked round to watch him plaster it over his freshly painted goal posts!

It was quite painful to watch as the day seemed to get hotter and with birdy thinking he at full protection from the glaring sun made no attempt to cover them up! 

Well" after Helping pack up his entire kit at the end of the match , his now glowing posts  had to get in the car walking as if he'd been shot up the backside with a Twelve Boar!" looking Back now it was a bit harsh but never the less the piture off him on are journey home with the cold fans blasting onto his legs as he was to scared to move was worth a bit of pay back".

 

Another time was back in the days of my Thatchers era and we had just fished a match on the Gloucester Canal at Hempstead , We all returned to the local Rugby club for the result and used to have a chat after with a cold pint, This particular day the legend Des (smiley) Shipp challenged me to a game of pool and after losing the toss Des decided to break, Now just as he was going to give it an almighty whack Mark Harper walked past and placed his freshly poured guiness on a small table directly at the end of the pool table whilst he went to the toilet.

As Des launched the white ball at a break neck speed it somehow connected with the pack taking full flight in an upward motion to travel directly towards the table with Harpers pint on" and yes! the cue ball ended up in the glass minus the guiness without even breaking it! Only for Mark to appear back around corner shouting' What did you do that for' Only added to funny side and I was trying so hard not to wet myself with laughter!

 

Back in the days with Sensas Thyers we all arranged one year to have a lads fishing holiday together down at Whiteacres in Newquay , Fishing the matches together and on the Thursday rover I ended up on jennys with My then captain Lance (Two more minutes) Tucker behind me on the high bank of the match lake, with team mates Brian (anteater) Slipper & Mark (pornstar) Broomsgrove,

Halfway thro the Match Tucks got up for a pee climbing the steep back behind him to be slightly more discreet and on his return from the bushes with a Fag hanging from his mouth attempting to re-tie the string in his joggers he ended up some what forgetting his footing and was soon being propelled towards his peg at a rate of knots and with his seat box fast approaching perched on the end of the wooden staging he did his best to stop only for the lip of his trainer to catch in the upturned chicken wire on the front of the pallet' Well the site was worthy of a 9 off any diving board and to see him pop up with the Fag still in his mouth had me chuckling so much the rest of my lake thought I was mad as they missed it!

       

 

       

Shiplate farm main lake

With 21 fishing today And a scene which would resemble any nice Christmas card with a harsh ground frost it was always going to be a struggle for some tho we were all as keen as ever as we should all know what to expect at this time of the year, A nice free" cuppa in the hut and a bit of banter I was hoping for a draw on the end of an island or some more fancied pegs on the far bank so into the draw and peg 5A is stuck to my mitt so not where I wanted to be but fish have fins so you never know, for company I had Alan Healey on peg 5 so we had a quid between us to keep it entertaining.

Even tho it had been cold I felt quite a positive approach was in order today and decided with the water being clearer than of late I was going to fish for skimmers and hopefully some of the resident big Bream so with this is mind a groundbait and soft pellet on the long pole at 14mts was to be my main gambit so 0.04g and made skimmer float was attached to 0.13 main line and 20 808 to 0.11 hook length set to fish around 3 inches over depth with a 4mm expander on the business end" Steve (The Owner) made his way round the far bank with the spare scales should any beasts be caught through the match they can be weighed and returned. Now Steve does tend to have a jinx effect on me and today was no exception as on his arrival I was just checking how my rig should sit in the water and after skilfully shipping back whilst continuing the conversation I turned to see my rig had ended up looking like something that's usually on top of my netbag at the end of a match!! Needless to say he made a hasty retreat leaving me to calmly untangle my prized rig"    

My starting gambit tho was to be a 2gram loaded wager fished at dead depth a comfy 25mts and with the wind being light and slightly of my left shoulder it should be easy enough to fish as long as poss as I planned to leave the pole line to settle as long as possible and with this line being flat calm I could easily see and signs of fish sending pimples to the surface, After riddling my groundbait before the start and getting everything to hand I was just ready for the All in and started the day feeding 3 big balls of grounbait with a good handful of damped micro  added and a pinch of expanders onto the 14mt line.

Starting on the waggler with double dead red I began pinging in around 6-8 4mm pellet over the top with the catty rather than risk spreading maggots over a vast area should the wind pick up at anytime, 30mins in and my fish bite of the day resulted in 2oz roach and looking around the lake it was a slow start for everyone from what I could see although Steve (peanut) howell on peg11 having a couple of early carp on the waggler off the end of the island on red maggot from what I could see, A switch to a banded 6mm produce no bites and a try with corn still gave me know response so I was soon back on the maggot searching for bites and for the next 45mins I was reward with 2 small roach and a change was on the cards"

I picked up the pole and shipped out a 4mm expander to which I fully expected to go under after a few seconds but after 10minutes of lifting and dragging around my Baited area I had no response and with Alan next to me already having been on the pole 15mins before me and still biteless things were looking bleak to say the least" A swith to double red maggot and 5mis later saw a slight lift on float before sliding away and a firm lift saw 6ft of elastic from the end of the pole to which I presumed to be a Big Bream to start with tho as I gingerly shipped back I realised it to be a carp"

I kept the pole low and slowly worked my way back to the kit only then find not only was it of good size it was foul hooked! after around 3minutes I did have a slight hope of me netting it tho that soon faded as it get propelled off into the distance tho I did save my rig, I did try the line again for another ten mins hoping the skimmers may well have settled on the feed now the carp had gone but it wasent to be so I re-fed with a small amount of dry groundbait along with a few red maggots and reverted to the waggler.

Starting back on the pellet I though bein as I was flicking a few pellets out whilst on the pole I would have a few indications but I struggled to get a bite and with maggot on the hook it was a long wait for a few small roach but there just didn't seem to be any bigger fish in the area willing to feed and return to the pole line a couple more times into the last hour resulted in just one small roach, And with both guys around me struggling for bites on the pole we were all in the same boat along are bank and except the one carp caught by Alan next to me on the straight lead and maggot we all had a hard winter days fishing the the day remained pleasant and it made a nice change to fish the rod and reel again rather than waving long lengths of carbon around.

My 12 roach wasn't goin to get me a pick up today so a hasty pack up and back to the hut for a nice warm cuppa and to thaw out a little it was down to the results and 1st on the day went to Matt Tayton with a nice 80lb 12oz off end peg 15 with some nice double figure carp on the maggot feeder cast close to the lawns and later on the waggler .

full results -

1st Matt Tayton 80lb 12oz peg15 (unknown)

2nd Steve Howell 30lb 12oz peg 11 (shiplate)

3rd Julian Pinkett 9lb 1oz  (Bristol post office)

Top silvers-

1st Julian Pinkett with waggler and maggot caught roach and skimmers peg 13a

2nd Rich Hawkins 8lb 9oz (Bristol post office)

     

 

Shiplate open hawthorns

A match run by myself today as still being the festive period its nice to give Steve and Carol a break though Steve did do the weigh in with his fishery helper Roy as it looked very dark over head" (Thank you). Only 11 fishing today so top 3 overall and top silvers gave as all something to fish for and with the weather looking some what unsettled with a blustery south westerly we were all going to have to take as much care as possible with regards to bait and tackle!

Fishing from 9.45 till 3.15 with the draw being 8.30 gave us plenty of time to assess are pegs before the all in and with most drawn I ended up on peg 1 with the wind blowing down my end I was wishing it August" as on many canal lakes it can be the kiss of death in the cold, I have drawn this peg before and new I had around 4ft down my calmer left hand margin around a 1ft off the stick ups fishing a 4x14 chanti at dead death, And around 3ft towards the far bank in front of the bull rushes fishing a 4x12 chanti both to 0.13-0.11 and a size 20 808, I did set a strung out 4x10 chanti to search further along the bare bank towards the far corner if I needed to.

For Company today I had Steve Howell on peg 3 and after a quid side bet and him kindly giving me some maggots we weren't sure what to expect so a very open mind was the order of the day, Back to my peg in time for me to call all in and I fed around 30 maggots down my inside left swim and around the same with some expanders down to my right tho this was head on into the wind so I expected it to be a throw away line if the wind wasn't to subside", deciding not to feed anything across on any other line and started on the far rig infront of  with double maggot just tripping the bottom feeding a few maggots and expanders via mini cadpot, Two minutes in a bit of lifting and dropping a fast bite result in a 4oz roach not what I was expecting but a blank not on the cards, after a few missed fast bites a switch to a 4mm expander left me waiting for any indications apart from a few dinks I was still without a carp and a try on single maggot got me plenty of bites from tiny perch and the odd better roach but I was going nowhere and with only hooking one small carp it was a change to the lighter 4x10 rig and searching further along the bank resulted in my first carp around 2lb on double red maggot a drop back on the same line didn't result in any more signs so back on the far 3ft swim and a few more small silvers it was time for a re-think.

I had been feeding the inside by hand with a few maggots so although earlier than I would had liked I lay my 4ft rig in the edge and seconds later carp 2 was on and swimming nicely towards the middle of the lake tho stopped in its tracks and bolted back where it came from leaving me with a nice size scale! a quick re-feed with a round 40 maggots it was time to look on my throw away line into the wind on my inside right, First put in and carp number three was netted around 4lb but with no more indications I put a bit more bait in and switched back to my left margin, a slowly missed bite and a few liners I decided to try my 3ft rig on the same line and after a quick dip of the float tip in some Vaseline to help hold the float up I lay the rig in and watched the elastic slide from the end of the pole" another nice 3lb mirror in the net but no more fish I was back to the light rig across with maggot searching for any carp that might be sitting further along away from any bait and although I did manage two more carp I was getting more indications from silvers so after a few more 4oz roach and chublets I spend most on the remaining match down both insides ending the day with around 12 carp and approx. 3lb of silvers.

I packed up as quick as poss to avoid the rain in the distance approaching , and wanderd up Peanut (Steve one line will do Howell) on peg 3 , he was admitting to 13 carp catching on maggot over on the far shelf, The weigh-in was started at the top end of the lake and Ron Stark was winning with 34lb odd, next to weigh was peanut with 40lb 10oz and with just me to weigh I thought my fish were a bit on the small side but added to my silvers gave me first on the day and a nice 65 quid to add to last wkends pickup off the same lake along with four quid in side bets"

  The heavens were against us today tho we all caught but with a couple of breakages along the way with simon ryall breaking a no.4 and john page a no.6 tho can use his wild card to get a new one, (Tight git)

1st Dom Sullivan 43-8 Maver/Cadbury Angling

2nd Steve Howell 40-10 shiplate

3rd Ron Stark 34-12 Weston A.A

4th Russ Peck 23-6 Thatchers Tackle

Top Silvers

Gorden Jones 4-4 Weston A.A        

                               

shiplate farm xmas match

After the normal sunday fry up it is off to shiplate farm for there annual chrismas match, This is a great venue run by steve and carol oliver and bein as its less that ten minutes from are home the traveling costs are minimal,
37 fishing today which is a nice turn out for any match,with both canals and the main lake in, after all the talk of were we were hoping to draw I was in the queue , I fancied end pegs 1 or 15 on the main lake or a high number on hawthorns, into the bag and out pops 8 hawthorns smack bag it the middle.
Not to disappointed as I had won a match recently from peg 9 I made two 4x10 chanti rigs for a cross in 2.5ft off water on 0.13 to 0.11 and a size 20 808 and a 4x14 chanti down the track,
After feeding  all 3 lines with a minimum amount of micro and 4mm expander I started a cross with a 4mm expander at dead depth, 30 mins in and four bites? resulted in 3 missed and one foul hooked carp which did its best to  say hello to my other lines before sheding the hook! shiplate regular and silver fish hunter gordan jones (golly) was on peg 7 and had already had a few silvers and a rouge carp on the silvers line fishing pinkee down the track, 2 hours in and I was still fish less so a switch down the track resulted in a 3oz skimmer  then nothing!
I decided to concentrate on my far lines tho bein it shallow and a switch to double maggot whilst drip feeding the same via a toss pot saw me swap between the lines across for the rest of the match fishing for 1 fish at a time seemed to be the best option then re-feeding and moving to the next swim.
All match I was drip feeding maggot by hand down my short edge and did manage to snare one carp at half depth, Ending up with 7 carp over and the one short
 I was expecting the more favoured high numbers to produce, even the ever present steve howell (peanut) on peg 12 struggled for a mere 7lb odd, I was chuffed to end up winning the lake with 34lb 5oz and back to the hut for a lovely laid on spot of very welcome hotdogs , sausage rolls, and home made mince pies" it was down to the results,
First on the day was phil (Fabio) harding on peg 15 main lake with 50lb 9oz of carp caught on the method feeder & 8mm pellet towards the lawns and after last nights monsoon season the extra water had caused the canals to fish harder of late resulting in my 34lb to be enough for 2nd on the day and a very welcome £75 in the back pocket"
Top silvers on the day went to Julian pinkett with 16lb 10oz of skimmers on main lake peg 13a fishing the waggler and maggot,
full results
1st Phil harding 50lb 9oz
2nd Dom Sullivan 34lb 5oz
3rd Mat tanton 23lb 10oz
4th Lewis jones 21lb 6oz
5th Tim lewis 19lb 6oz
Top silvers
Julian pinkett 16lb 10oz
 
  

A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE...

Im 43yrs old now tho I can still remember most of my early learning days as i'm sure most of us have fond memories, Always keen to be on my bike at the crack of dawn to make my eight mile trip to the River Kenn in Clevedon just to get a good peg to chase the big bream shoals by the sea wall or to fish amongst the lily beds on the gravels section, only to return home at dusk and do it all again the next day" I was as keen then as I was when my hormones kicked as far as females go!
After having a few years off  chasing these fine works of art? And moving home to Weston-Super-Mud"  I joined Weston.A.A and met my good friend Darren greenwood (big bird) that know him,
Ending up as traveling partners to matches and many a sunday morning spent with "whitfield" singing Saturday night blareing out the cassette player with the windows down singing along to the words," It was a real learning curve and with so many anglers it was always easy to ask for advice
to help improve my fishing  and the effort I was putting in was reaping the rewards and I was as keen to always get the best for the team,
I moved ranks to the now  Sensas Thyers Squad who were a local bunch of lads which most are still members under long time captain lance tucker, having are team meetings every Thursday some traveling twenty miles or more to discuss are match tactics followed by a game of cards",How offen does that happen now,"
Team fishing to me was at its prime now and I was delighted when asked to join Thatchers  Tubertni soon to be Crazy Bait Thatchers by Ian (piggy) parsons, This squad included the likes of  Des Shipp, Steve Mayo, Ben Leach to name but a few and the effort the team put was second to none and most weekends we would be traveling what seemed like the length of the country"
I always remember Des rubbing his new bright green and pink waterproofs in the mud before he wore them so not to stand out as much!!
As always all good things come to an end as they say but I broke away from team fishing to concentrate on work ect and took time away from fishing altogether for a while but as we all do I have some great and funny memories to go on with...(Tight lines) .